I’ve noticed that many of you are wondering who vandalized two Poussin paintings at the National Gallery. Unfortunately, not much is known at this time.

From an eye-witness account, we’re led to believe he is of French origins. After spraying the Poussins, he was heard muttering in French. Steven Dear told the Guardian, “He seemed proud of what he had done, giving a verbal protest – some kind of explanation in French as to why he had done it – and then just standing there waiting to be arrested.”

From the West End Extra, we learn that he’s a fifty-seven year old resident of Westminster. After the arrest, he was detained and charged with “criminal damage.” The maximum sentence for this crime is ten years. There is a special section of criminal damage for ‘heritage items’ but it strangely does not include paintings.

The last we’ve heard of the Poussin vandal, he was before the Westminster Magistrates Court. As a result of that appearance, he was detained in a mental health unit. So he’s either a French-speaking, elderly man, with a taste for conceptual art or bat shit crazy. Perhaps a little of both….